![[Just to clarify for those not in the know - it’s two boneless chicken breasts as bread, four slices of cheese (Monterey and pepper jack) and bacon]About three months ago there was a rumbling around the internet of the new “Double Down Sandwich” at KFC. It was only being sold in Rhode Island and Nebraska, but accounts of it spread across all fifty states. Everywhere I went online I was accosted with descriptions of this monstrosity - people were commenting on it before they had even laid eyes on it in their own town. The sandwich as meme.I had to try one. Today it finally arrived in the store of my sleepy college town. My roommate was at work - I called him to let him know. We made a date with destiny. A date with the double down.An hour later, and the only thing rumbling anymore is my intestines, horrified at the Frankenstein monster I unleashed on them. My toilet will probably be even more horrified in a few minutes.It arrived in a greasy paper box, completely unrecognizable to the image above. The picture has two pattys of uniform size - mine had one patty hanging precariously over the edge of the wrapper, the other one too tiny to be seen. The picture shows clearly: two types of cheese, and bacon.Mine… globules of one mixed cheese - half melted. And bacon (it’s pretty hard to fuck up bacon mind you.)First Bite: This is fucking AWESOME!Third Bite: Okay, maybe not awesome. But still pretty good.Fifth Bite: Okay, maybe not pretty good…Seventh Bite: There’s… so… much… salt(Rest period. I drank as much water as possible)Final Bite: Put me out of my miseryOne hour later: Put my toilet out of it’s misery.I have never done a 180 on something SO QUICKLY in my entire life. Every bite was like descending down into another layer of Hell. Which is where I’m sure to be going, as I’m fairly certain the good lord is watching his creation with a little notebook - putting small check marks for gluttony next to anyone who willingly chooses to eat one of these bastardized greasy fuckwiches.Just… one of the worst things ever.](http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0w6y2YL2M1qznuuwo1_400.jpg)
[Just to clarify for those not in the know - it’s two boneless chicken breasts as bread, four slices of cheese (Monterey and pepper jack) and bacon]
About three months ago there was a rumbling around the internet of the new “Double Down Sandwich” at KFC. It was only being sold in Rhode Island and Nebraska, but accounts of it spread across all fifty states. Everywhere I went online I was accosted with descriptions of this monstrosity - people were commenting on it before they had even laid eyes on it in their own town. The sandwich as meme.
I had to try one.
Today it finally arrived in the store of my sleepy college town. My roommate was at work - I called him to let him know. We made a date with destiny. A date with the double down.
An hour later, and the only thing rumbling anymore is my intestines, horrified at the Frankenstein monster I unleashed on them. My toilet will probably be even more horrified in a few minutes.
It arrived in a greasy paper box, completely unrecognizable to the image above. The picture has two pattys of uniform size - mine had one patty hanging precariously over the edge of the wrapper, the other one too tiny to be seen.
The picture shows clearly: two types of cheese, and bacon.
Mine… globules of one mixed cheese - half melted. And bacon (it’s pretty hard to fuck up bacon mind you.)
First Bite: This is fucking AWESOME!
Third Bite: Okay, maybe not awesome. But still pretty good.
Fifth Bite: Okay, maybe not pretty good…
Seventh Bite: There’s… so… much… salt
(Rest period. I drank as much water as possible)
Final Bite: Put me out of my misery
One hour later: Put my toilet out of it’s misery.
I have never done a 180 on something SO QUICKLY in my entire life. Every bite was like descending down into another layer of Hell. Which is where I’m sure to be going, as I’m fairly certain the good lord is watching his creation with a little notebook - putting small check marks for gluttony next to anyone who willingly chooses to eat one of these bastardized greasy fuckwiches.
Just… one of the worst things ever.
